first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
