Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
