chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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