He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
