I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
