Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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