We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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