Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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