Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
