plz talk dirty to me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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