why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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