He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
