Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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