Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
A+ Viking dick
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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