And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
