God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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