umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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