im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
