You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
