week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
