don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
