Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
honey bunches of taint.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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