is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
