When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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