so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
