Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
