The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
