he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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