I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
