Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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