After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
