Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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