I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
