if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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