I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
