What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
