KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
