As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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