Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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