ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize