Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
