i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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