Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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