hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We got so high we made milksteak
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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