This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize