How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He did a backflip because drugs
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
