She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
