We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Enjoy the penises
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
