Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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