I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
