im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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