You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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