Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
