When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
