Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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