I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
