But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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