fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We are two peas in an std pod
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
