got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
