I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize