i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
