I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just had sex bonerless
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
