Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
