I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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